Couples

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I  work with women in same-sex relationships who both still love each other and want to be together, but just need some tweaking to get them back on track in regards to communication and prioritising each other, along with rebuilding intimacy, deepening connection and understanding self and each other a little better.

You BOTH must be willing to participate in all parts of the process - including homework - this is a work heavy method on your part.

I do not work with couples who are experiencing  particularly complex issues such as  ongoing physical or emotional violence, porn, addiction, recent or multiple affairs or where one partner has already decided they want to leave.  If one of you isn't willing to listen to and show respect to the other, then the therapy I offer will not be of benefit to you.

It's not uncommon for relationships to start to feel stale, disconnected or boring. When you've been together a long time, you may notice you spend more time talking about how to get Kid 1 to soccer when Kid 2 has to be at swimming, than you do talking about your hopes, dreams, desires, fears and frustrations.

One partner may be feeling like they're not a priority anymore, or they may start to feel like they've never been a priority. Another partner might be feeling like they just get nagged day in and day out.  

In-laws, parents, homophobia within family systems and extended family can also be an added strain or stress on a relationship.

Sometimes a partner may start to think the grass looks greener OUT of the relationship and might be starting to develop deeper emotional ties to people other than their partner.

Relationships can feel complex, complicated, exhausting and just plain hard. Same-sex relationships can have additional challenges. Sometimes people get to the point where they decide it's better to be apart, than together.

But often, in the midst of life's challenges and difficulties, a couple know that there is still *something* between them. They still love each other, and they still want to be together, but they have forgotten how to communicate, how to prioritise each other, how to be lovers,  how to really *see* each other. They feel so very dissatisfied and they want to fix things, but they just don't know *how* to go about it.

And that's where relationship coaching can help.

But first you need to know this, I can't save your relationship. Only you and your partner can do that. That's why it's important that BOTH of you are willing participants in the therapeutic process. If one of you is not willing, then therapy with me, will not be a good fit for you (see my faq page for other options).

It's also important to be aware that one session is not going to be enough. The first three sessions build the foundation for the work. You can expect to be coming for at *least* 8 sessions initially, and then you may need 3 monthly, 6 monthly and then yearly 'tune ups' to keep you both on track. It's a big investment. But if you are both committed to getting things back on track, it will be a worthwhile one.

If both of you are willing, I can help you learn how to talk to each other again, rebuild your friendship, find your back to intimacy, re-organise your priorities, feel seen, heard, and valued and find a new way forward, together. Stronger, wiser and more committed.

Please keep scrolling for additional information.

Our sessions are all outdoors (see this page for location options, when you book your appointment, you can type in your preferred meeting place) - if the weather is inclement we can meet via Zoom (if kids are able to be occupied and you can be uninterrupted) or we can meet in sheltered areas or a library meeting room.  Please bring your own chair, a hat, sunscreen, mozzie repellent, a bottle of water and a pen and notepad. Please also allow around 1 hour and 40 minutes for your couple sessions.

The process I use to support couples is called Gottman Method Couples Therapy. John and Julie Gottman have studied couples for decades. They have found evidence backed ways to help couples better understand each other and rebuild their relationships into healthier, more connected unions. I also utilise Acceptance and Commitment therapy principles, along with mindfulness techniques where it is appropriate.

The fee process is as follows:

Initial Session: $220 + you'll be invited to complete the US based Gottman Questionnaire, which will cost you around AU$60

Individual Sessions: $165 (each)

Subsequent Couple sessions: $220

Upon Booking

When you book, you'll be asked to forward both your own and your partner's email addresses to me. Once I have them, I'll send you both  invitations to complete the Gottman Connect Questionnaire, which is an extensive assessment of your relationship - your partner can't see your results, and you can't see theirs. This needs to be completed by both of you as soon as possible, before your individual sessions. You will also be sent a 'welcome' link - this has payment details up the top, but please keep scrolling for important information and helpful resources - the more you are open to learning and understanding about this work, the easier this process with be.

Session 1:

During our first session, we will explore what your current concerns are and your relationship history.

Sessions 2:

Session 2 is two separate  60 minute sessions, where I see each of you alone (you will pay $165 EACH for these individual sessions). 

I will learn a little more about your individual history, and discuss anything of note that has come up in your questionnaire results.

Session 3 onwards:

Session 3 we come back together and dig in and do the work. I move from 'counsellor' mode, to more of a coach. Giving you tips, tools and techniques to help you both start building a more fulfilling, connected relationship. We will work together for as many sessions as you both feel is needed. 

One on one sessions will also be provided as required ($150 cost), however BOTH partners must be completely ok and comfortable with this. If one partner needs individual therapy, and the other would prefer they received it outside of the couples therapy space, then I can offer other recommendations for therapist for that purpose.