“If a man got killed by a shark every week, we'd probably arrange for the ocean to be drained.” -

They're as bad as each other' - This is known as 'situational violence' where it's true, sometimes both partners do get into a violent altercation with each other.

 It could be argued that the 'power balance' here is somewhat equal. But who do you think is most likely to cause lethal harm if things go 'too far'? Even if they are 'as bad as each other' - violence is still not ok.

'She pushed him and pushed him so much, he just snapped' - No. He made a *choice* to react in a violent way. What happens at work if he's 'pushed and pushed' - is he perpetrating violence against his boss and workmates? Or his extended family and friends if they push his buttons? Is he attacking people on the street who he finds objectionable?  If not, doesn't that indicate that he actually CAN control himself, he's just CHOOSING not to when with her?

'If it's that bad, why doesn't she just leave?' - I've addressed that separately, further down this page.

'She cheated on him, so its only fair that he wants to monitor her every move' - Generally speaking, transparency is a part of every healthy relationship on BOTH parts (eg if there's an 'open phone' policy in a relationship - it applies to both partners, not just one), and is a crucial part of the repair process after an affair. But there's a huge difference between a mutual agreement that applies to both partners that is centred around respect for autonomy and freedom and him refusing to be open to even beginning to trust her, putting secret trackers on her, covertly following her to 'catch her out', having all her messages be filtered through to his device, questioning her on every cent she spends, forbidding her from seeing friends and family - etc etc ETC - This is truly toxic behaviour - and 

IS NOT OK! 

'He's a man, he needs to feel like a man. He needs to be the 'head of the home', that's just how it is, women should just accept   

that men don't like being emasculated' - Having  xy chromosomes doesn't automatically entitle you to any kind of special treatment or authority. A partnership is supposed to be equal. A woman is entitled to have a say in her own home and over her own life. She has just as much right as a man to have her own preferences, and freedoms. 

'Women can be perpetrators too' - Yes, women can also be perpetrators of domestic violence, either in opposite-sex, or same-sex relationships. And no one that I'm aware of, is saying this is ok, or that it doesn't happen. What most are asking is - how many women are killing men, or other women compared with how many men are killing women or other men? Absolutely we, as a society, need to be addressing all forms of violence AND right now there are a LOT of women, children and other men who are dying primarily at the hands of men - so there's a big problem here that has a glaring common denominator. We just can't ignore that any longer.